by: Debra Betterly, Ph.D., CLC 

We cant choose the body we want, rather we have to accept the body we are given. Our bodies are an amazing compilation of traits from all our ancestors. They are unique and allow us to have the physical experience of life. They are the vehicles of our soul. They are connected to our mind and spirit. Our thoughts and emotions can literally make us sick or heal us physically. However, if I asked 10 people if they liked their bodies, what do you think the majority, if not all of them, would say? On the top of most peoples list would be their dissatisfaction with their weight. Fact: Our current population is getting heavier even though as many as 40 percent of women and 24 percent of men are trying to lose weight at any given time. Unfortunately, our cultures expectation about body size has led to an unhealthy obsession with weight. The underlying cultural view and the message given by the media is that being thin will make us feel healthier, more beautiful and happier. The media images bombarding us today are unrealistic and seem to lead us on a mission for the ideal body. Precious time and energy is being consumed by thinking about, talking about, worrying about, and trying to find the magic cure for fixing our weight. Even so, statistics prove that there is no magic cure. People who go on diets typically gain back as much as one-third to two-thirds of the weight within one year and almost all of it within five years. Our self-worth becomes entwined with these messages. Because of our cultures obsession with thinness, it is increasingly difficult for us to see the beauty and diversity in different sizes and shapes. It is increasingly difficult for us to not judge ourselves and others by how we look rather than who we are. For, our true beauty is reflected in our soul, our passion, in what we do for others, and how we care for ourselves.
Learning to take extremely good care of yourself is a vital part of coaching. Taking a non-dieting approach that focuses on acceptance, physical activity, and normalized eating frees you from the diet mentality to do better, more important things with your time and energy. The non-dieting approach takes the emphasis off calorie counting, counting exchanges, scales, fat gram counting, and the ideal body.
Accept Yourself:
"Develop a positive image of yourself. Stop judging your self worth by the number on the scale, or your body shape or size. Work on remembering who you really are. You know, the essence of your soul, the you that is brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous. (See this quoted from Marianne Williamsons Our Deepest Fear on my website, www.amazingjourneycoach.com on the free writings and assessments page). Stop any negative self-talk in its tracks and change it to something positive about yourself.
"Become more aware of the media and cultural messages that promote an ideal body shape. Remind yourself that such expectations are unrealistic. The images appearing in magazines are often computer generated, computer altered and airbrushed! They are not real!
"Put away your scale. It does not matter what you weigh. It only matters how healthy and fit you are. Also, weighing encourages weight obsession and measuring your self-worth by what the scale says that day.

Be Physically Active:
"We are born with the need to move! Choose movement that is pleasurable, rather than being active only to lose weight or compensate for overeating.
"You will find that when you are more physically active, you are likely to be more energized and feel good about your body and your health.
"Sign up for my new Beyond Diets; Be At Your Best Weight coaching package to help you progress through the six stages of change to a place where the old you no longer exists and your new lifestyle is as automatic as brushing your teeth!

Normalize Your Eating Patterns:
"Increase your awareness of physical hunger. Many of us have lost our ability to tune into our physical hunger cues because of the unhealthy relationship we have with yourself:
•Try a great new healthy recipe each week using all the wonderful fresh produce available this time of year.
•Take some time to plan your meals each week and prepare your grocery list accordingly.
•Have fun being active! Try a new activity each week such as biking, swimming, in-line skating, walking with friends or family, hiking a bluff, or putting on some tunes and dancing the night away in your own living room.
•Stop any negative self-talk as soon as you notice it and change it.
•Repeat a positive affirmation such as “ I will treat my body with respect, giving it enough rest, fueling it with a variety of foods, exercising it moderately, and listening to what it needs.” Each day.
•Compliment someone for something other than how they look. Tell them what is really great about them! (Do this for yourself too!)
Now add a couple of your own:
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About the Author

Debra Betterly is a Life Coach whose specialty is midlife mastery. This article is derived from her newsletter, “Second Acts”, a spirit-mind-body approach for women re-inventing the second half of life. Please visit www.amazingjouneycoach.com to subscribe to this free monthly eNewsletter. Debra is also the author of a video eCourse called "A Better Way to a Better Body" at www.dietschmiet.com